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Ratings Explained



On this page we explain the meaning of our wonderful “Garbarr-isms” and provide you with lovely examples so you can obtain a complete understanding of what these ratings truly mean.



B Minus: This refers to an event/object which is not too bad or is a minor inconvenience. Whatever it may be, it could definitely be improved upon or fixed with little effort.


Example: “They forgot to give me ketchup with my fries!!! That is such a B-.




F Minus: This refers to an event/object that is a complete screw-up. It is not so easily fixed or dealt with and is a major inconvenience. Severe frustration is commonly associated with F-.


Example: (After arriving home from picking up some fast food) “God-Damnit! They gave me the completely wrong meal. There is not one thing in here I want right now. This is F fucking minus!”




Garbage: This refers to an event/object where the parties involved are just a complete waste. It goes beyond F- because things that are garbage are almost impossible to change or fix.


Example: “ Soo...last night, I kinda made a B- decision. Instead of going to Chucky Cheeses', I decided to try that new lounge that just opened up. After waiting in line for 45 minutes and paying a $20 cover, it took me another half hour get a Jack and Coke. It cost me $9 and it tasted like just Coke. On top of that, I could barely move the entire night and just when things couldn't get worse, I had the unfortunate experience of having two fat guys run up to me and full blown grind up against me until I was able to run away. I am never going back to that garbage place ever again.”




Embarrassing: This refers to an event/object that is just plain old embarrassing. It falls on a similar level as garbage, but instead of being garbage, its just embarrassing. Choose wisely when you are forced to use one of these two words.

Example: “Damnit! I did it again! I busted all over and didn’t even insert my penis into any orifice whatsoever. She even laughed in my face this time and then told all of her friends. I am so god-damn embarrassing.”





Unsatisfactory: This refers to an event/object that 99% of the world would find to be offensive, irritating, stupid, and usually done on purpose. Its not even funny. In fact, its absolutely worthless.


Example: “ Well it looks like my life is pretty much over. I crashed my car for the fourth time in two weeks today. Because I am such garbage, some guy is suffering in the hospital with a broken arm and his children are now paralyzed for life. I am personally responsible for wrecking a total of 15 cars due to my piss-poor driving. My driving skills are absolutely unsatisfactory.”





Garbarrassing: This refers to an event/object that is unsatisfactory, but can also by laughed at and made fun of by the present (or even non-present) majority. You cannot fix something that is garbarrassing and the event/person will usually remain in your memories and discussions for months after it occurs.

Example: Amit was so drunk that he actually tried to punch someone in the face last night. He missed his target completely, lost his balance, fell on his face, his hands started bleeding, and everyone there laughed at him. The kid he was attempting to fight just walked away in tears because he was laughing so hard. Amit was extremely garbarrassing.





UNSATISFACTAGARBARRASSING MINUS: This refers to an event/object that is absolutely the worst possible decision, action, or event that could possibly occur at any given moment. It is a combination of all of the above and it is caused by the most disruptive and despised human-beings living on this planet.

Example: Unfortunately, we have never actually witnessed anything that could actually earn this grade (the Bush administration has come extremely close). If you have witnessed something of this magnitude in action, please do tell us your story. You will most likely win the contest if it truly deserves this grade.


We hope to have cleared up all of the confusion that may have been associated with these words. If you have any questions regarding the rating system, please contact us. Thanks.




Captain Garbarrassing