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Awkward Meetings


By Captain Garbarrassing | September 08, 2008


Hello everyone, and welcome back! This past week off has been fantastic. I've had my very first job interview, and along with it came my very first job offer. What a fantastic job offer it was! Not only is it a salesman position, but they only pay you on commission, you have to pay for training and licensing with your very own money, and then you get to sell insurance products to the elderly!

Well, I declined my garbarrassing job offer and returned to writing blogs for this wonderful website. So here I am, in Athens, GA, at a bar with Tina, my girlfriend. We have been together for about 6 months. She happens to be gorgeous, intelligent, amazing, and pretty much every guy in her law school would love to have sex with her. Now this is something I am not too fond of, but I understand, that it comes with territory. After all, she is beautiful and fantastic in every way, so it's only natural that guys want her.

Moving on, two of these guys are at this bar with us right now. Let's start with guy number one. His name is David. He once told Tina that he wanted to have a "Talk" with her. She knew what was coming, but she decided to go to dinner with him anyway. They had only known each other for a few weeks, but David could not hold back his burning passion any longer. He confessed his love, for a good hour. It was quite sweet of him, but it was also very creepy. So Tina told him that she had a boyfriend already and that was that.

A few minutes ago, Tina introduced me to David. He just looked at me, and frowned. It was so awkward, that the entire bar felt uncomfortable. I was trying not to laugh and be quite cordial. I held in my laughter and the conversation (about politics) went quite smoothly. We both agreed that McCain, Sarah Palin, and the entire Republican Party are retarded (Sorry if you're republican. I know the only reason you're voting for him is to keep taxes low.) David is actually a very nice guy, except for the fact that the cocksucker has been staring daggers at me the entire time. This doesn't happen often, but I am starting to feel a little uncomfortable while I sit here writing this blog.

Let's now discuss Jarred (guy number two). Jarred is the cockiest person in the universe. He once took Tina to a formal, drank too much, threw up everywhere, and has been confessing his love and asking to hang out, via email and text message, ever since. I didn't even want to meet this guy because he walked into the bar screaming "YEAAAA GUYS LET'S DOOOOO IT," and then started dancing like a kid with down syndrome to classical rock music. Since I was sitting with Tina, Jarred came over to say hello. Tina introduced me to him as her boyfriend, and this is when I started uncontrollably dying of laughter. I told him I had just read a funny email. After I played it off quite miserably, we spoke briefly due to the severe awkwardness I had created by me laughing in his face. Anyway, since then, I have noticed that this guy walks, talks, and acts like he is the shit. Maybe, he is, maybe he isn't. Either way, he's a huge douchebag.

So what is the best part about these two kids? They are both in the same law school club as Tina. Not only that, but they are both officers, and so is Tina. That makes me VERY HAPPY since I live an hour away and they always hit on her. Speaking of that, I have been watching David use every moment he possibly can to talk to Tina while I have been writing this blog. Oh, don't worry, he's still staring at me and it's pretty damn creepy.

I am starting to get a little buzzed, so it's time I go and have some fun. The moral of the story? Trust the person you're dating, and it'll all work out in the end. There will be people that come along, like the two guys in this blog, and it may piss you off. However, she's with you! So don't get mad. Just watch and be amused. Until next time!

-Captain G



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#6 - KaneKathrine19 - 07/19/2010 - 15:41
Why I vote Democrat
Actually, this is just a reply to Mr. Republican. To correct you, the republican philosophy of government is always described as making it smaller, but as soon as they get into office it swells up with all the positions they have to create to reward the people that supported them. And at the end of the day, government is there to provide for the common defense *and* promote the general welfare, etc., etc. Small government means less services. Big government means decreasingly useful expenditures. There's a balance the Clinton got right that amounts to "medium" government. Look it up.
#5 - Todd - 09/08/2008 - 23:29
Well, except for one mission that projects inwards
I guess when you say "most" domestic issues are the purview of the states you're leaving a space for the domestic issue of abortion.
#4 - Willikers - 09/08/2008 - 20:35
Yeah, that's definitely funny. BTW, here's a shout out to Athens; I grew up there and it's a great town. It's even better during the summer and there's less students there.
#3 - Grant - 09/08/2008 - 19:41
That story is hilarious, and I can relate. My girlfriend is hot and asian, and it seems that the entire world wants a piece of her, but all I do is sit back and laugh, so kudos to you. Meathead guys who don't trust their girlfriends are usually the ones that get cheated on anyway...

BTW mr republican... that story is beyond amusing, yet you insist on commenting on the one republican comment? for shame... everyone knows Obama is gonna win.
#2 - Anthony - 09/08/2008 - 15:42
Why I vote Republican
It's not just because of low taxes. Tax cuts without corresponding spending cuts are bad. I just believe that that the republican philosophy of government is at least marginally better than the democratic one. The mission of the federal government mainly begins at the national border and projects outwards: defense; trade; diplomacy. Most domestic issues are the purview of the states. Domestic issues that concern the federal government are mainly limited to issues crossing state lines.
#1 - Jeff - 09/08/2008 - 14:48
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