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Venice, Italy | The GARBARRABLOG

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Venice, Italy


By Captain Garbarrassing | July 7, 2008


Most of you are probably surprised that Venice managed to make the list. Let me clear up some of the confusion. Two weeks ago, I traveled to Venice and was unpleasantly surprised after staying there for a few days. Venice is known for being one of the most romantic and beautiful cities on the planet. It is a city built on water, and I must admit, it is extremely stunning at first glance. The grand canal is massive, lined with buildings on both sides. I would recommend taking your girlfriend to see the sunset there. It is by far the most striking view in the city. Be sure to also walk around and see the rest of the city. It is quite scenic and serene in most spots. Check out San Marco's Square as well. If you can't find it, just ask someone. To help you out, its a wide open town square with a bunch of over-priced shops and hundreds pigeons who are constantly being fed.

So why is Venice so beautiful and relaxing, yet SO garbarrassing? First and foremost, the whole city, especially the water, is filled with garbage. There is so much pollution, you are practically suffocating while walking around the city. This is really no laughing matter. Many parts of the city smell like the bathroom you enter, after the 350 pound guy who just took a massive dump just left. It really is unbelievable that such a aesthetic city could become a huge cesspool. It gotten so bad, that Italians themselves have nicknamed the canals of Venice, "Il bagno del Italia (The toilet of Italy)."

Aside from the excess of garbage, everything in the city is extremely overpriced. Slices of pizza were being sold for up to four euros in some areas. For those of you who don't know, that is over $6 for a slice of pizza. A can of coke averaged about three euros, and if you wanted to feed the birds in San Marco's Square, you could probably find a can of pringles nearby for a cool six euros ($9.50). I also forgot to mention earlier, that you should take your girlfriend on a gondola ride. It's a beautiful 15-25 minute ride throughout the canals, while a man rows your boat and sings to you with a big fat smile on his face. When you go, you may wonder why the guy rowing your gondola has this rather large grin on his face. Maybe its because you just paid him 80 euros (Thats over $120!!!) to row you around for a few minutes in what is known to most Venetians as Italy's toilet.

An over-priced city that smells like shit was not enough to make this city garbarrassing. The clincher was the nightlife. There is absolutely nothing to do there at night. People of all ages gather in squares with maybe one or two open bars. These bars aren't the kind you are used to. They are the size of the actual bar area within a bar. You order your drink and then stand outside in the square where all the locals are sitting around, smoking hash, and/or complaining about how boring their city is. Fortunately for me, I can speak Italian. Being that there was nothing to do, I would go to these squares, get a drink, and talk to some of the locals. One evening, I had a nice long conversation with a man name Tony who lives in Rome, but is staying in Venice for the summer. This man loves to party, drink, smoke, do cocaine, and is dying of boredom in Venice. When I asked him why he was in Venice, he replied in Italian "I am here to make tons of money. Even though it sucks living here, there are so many tourists who pay for things that are priced too high. Venice is a gold mine for me and my family."

On that note, I hope you can now understand why Venice is garbarrassing. It was a magnificent city only decades ago, but now it has turned into a polluted tourist trap. Its reputation will not last much longer. It may seem like a beautiful city, but the grand canyon, any beach at sunset, most famous waterfalls, and almost any scenic spot you can think of are far better places to site see. I would recommend seeing Venice, but don't stay for more than a day. The fact that it's a city resting on polluted water is the only thing almost worth seeing. After all, we could flood New York City with its own sewers, build some bridges, and form our very own Venice if we wanted to.



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Did anyone see Italy lose to Spain? It was sooooooooo garbarrassing
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Last time I went there. A mime tried robbing me. About five people helped me catch him and beat his ass. It was hilarious!! I completely agree with you. I am never going back to Venice.
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