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Detrimental Drug Addicts
By Captain Garbarrassing | April 7, 2008
Hello my friend, and welcome to yet another glorious to mildly entertaining blog. I was feeling kind of down this morning, so I decided to check back with our wonderfully embarrassing friends at Fox News. I came across a fantastic article which inspired me... So today I am here to call out all people who are much too addicted to drugs. So addicted that they become extremely unsatisfactory at life. I'm not talking about your average pothead, your hippie trip-artist, your raver, or even the party person who does coke from time to time. The focus here is on hardcore addicts.
Most of the time, if people are addicted to pot, alcohol, ecstasy, shrooms, and so on, they aren't really bothering or hurting anyone except for themselves (This is excluding the fact that others who care about these people may be upset by the drug abuse. Oh...And people who drink to much and then beat their wives and children. B minus). But generally, aside from those two exceptions, these drugs are mainly harming only the abuser.
Coke and herion addicts, crack, smack, and any other -ack's are at a whole different level of garbarrassment than other drug abusers. These people are completely unsatisfactory. It is not because they are abusing a drug and harming themselves...It's mainly because they are detrimental to all those around them before, during, and after their drug use. Basically, they are weights attached to our legs as we walk around trying to be productive.
Now you may be asking the question, why is this so? Well my ignorant kindergarten-level friend, let me explain. These people, tend to do anything in order to get more of these drugs. They will beg everyone for money, they will kill, steal, rape, and even suck dick(s) to get their fix. Basically, they don't care what stands in their way. They will fuck up all of society and themselves for just a taste of some drugs. They irritate everyone they come across both physically and mentally. It is extremely garbarrassing to see. In some cases, they will even sell their own family members. Yes, this is the truth. A man lent out his sister multiple times in order to get more heroin. Then one day the heroin dealer decided not to return her. Clearly, this whole man and his entire family get a HUGE F MINUS (Click here if you want the full story from our lovely friends over at Fox). The moral of this story is: Do your best not to become like anyone mention in that news article. I know this is tough for some of you, but if you manage to accomplish this, I promise you that there will always be someone who is more garbarrassing than you are.
Here is a tentative list of things to AVOID: putting a penis or any item from the ball-area near or into your mouth/anus for money, drugs, or really for ANYTHING. selling (or renting) your family. sleeping within 10 feet of a dumpster. stealing from your friends and family. owing a drug dealer more than your credit limit. having a friend named "Juice". doing heroin more than twice in a day. Stay away from these, and you're guaranteed a prosperous, potentially-non-garbarrassing life. Anyway, I've overstayed my welcome. Goodbye my friends.