Blog #6
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Over-idolizing a Mediocre Celebrity
By Captain Garbarrassing | April 4, 2008
Hello Friends,
If you are one of the best in the world at any type of activity that requires skill, you can rest assured that you will have many people who love you for it. That's right, no matter what your specialty is, whether it's a top chef, one of the better players in the NBA, rock stars, or even one of the best rim job givers, people will idolize you. Based on the title of this blog, it may seem that we at garbarrassing.com are about to rip on all fans who obsess over their "idols." Sorry to disappoint you mildly, but we actually believe that it's beneficial for SOME people to idolize those who are highly skilled at a certain activity. Let me explain to you what I mean by this. There are two types of hardcore fans. The first are those who look at their idol as a role model. These people respect their role model as a highly skilled person, sometimes strive to be as good as them in that specific skill, and use their role model as a means for motivation. As you could probably tell, this type of admirer is not garbarrassing. The second category of followers holds all those who are just completely infatuated with their idol in every way. These people view their idol as a god, they want their idol to love them, and will do anything to please their "god." Let me get into some greater detail so you have a better understanding of why these people are so completely and utterly garbarrassing. These are the type of people that put up posters all over their room of the person they idolize and get off to them almost every day. They stalk their idol, and when they see their idol in person, they go CRAZY, lose all control, start screaming, want to touch their glorious idol, or get their idol to acknowledge their existence. In fact, given the opportunity, these hardcore infatuated losers would instantly get down on all fours and lick their idol's anus for hours.
The other day, I experienced first hand, what could probably be considered the most piss-poor garbarrassing fans I have ever seen in my life. These fans (obviously the garbarrassing type) were poker player fans. The fact that they idolize a poker player is extremely garbarrassing by itself. However, this went above and beyond just idolizing a poker player. I was feeling a little bored, so I decided to go online and play some poker in full tilt's poker room. On this website, many of the most well known poker players play for thousands of dollars all day. So I join a game and decide to go watch a well known poker pro named Mike Mattusow play at another table to keep me occupied in between hands. What I witnessed at this table was pathetic. The chat box in the room was FILLED with hard core Mike Mattusow fans. Here are some quotes I took note of while watching him play:
1. "MIKKKEYYYYYYYY YOUURRR THE MANNN!!! I LOVE YOUUUUU!"
In good taste, not too bad. A little bit of a B- though.
2. "Mike remember me? We play against each other at the Mirage the other day."
You dumb mother fucker, he is a professional poker player, he plays hundreds of people in poker every day.
3. "Mike can I ask you a question?"
This person repeated that question about eight times. Eventually, his stupidity got to me, and I had to call him out. I was a little harsh and told him to kill himself. Not only was this person garbarrassing for asking a PERSON permission to ask a question, but he didn't even realize that he was already asking a question to begin with.
Eventually, a hater entered the room and said "Mike Mattusow sucks." Within seconds, every one in the room defended Mike like he was their savior. The sad thing is, most of these people don't even know this guy. They just see him play on television and know that he is good at poker. Now they are in a chat room, defending a practical stranger, because some one said he sucked. After about 10 minutes of people still complaining about the not so insulting comment, I decided to step in and end the ridiculousness. After explaining to these people that they really needed to get off this Mike's dick, and ripping on them for being extremely garbarrassing, big Mike stepped into the conversation himself. He told me that I better shut up or he was going to report me to full tilt poker staff and that they would ban me from talking in any poker chat room. Apparently, this man loves people all of his dick, but then again who wouldn't. Unfortunately for Mike, at this moment, he became a huge douche bag. I called him a bitch, made fun of his garbage threat, and lost all respect I had for the guy. Watching the poker game was no longer fun for me. I left soon after, and I felt extremely bad for everyone in there who was madly in love with this poker player. It is truly sad that these people view him as if he were a rock star god. They are all garbarrassing, and would probably be better off doing anything but chilling in a chat room causing a complete douche to think he is THE MAN by obsessing over him. The bottom line is, it's ok to love a person for their skills as long as you look at them as a person. When you start treating a person you don't know like a god just so he/she notices you, you become a HUGE garbarrassing bitch.
-Captain G
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