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Actor's Who Cheat on their Hot Wives, With Ugly Hookers

By Captain Garbarrassing | March 17, 2008

Please, if anyone can, try to enlighten me.

What would possess a male celebrity with a gorgeous, beautiful wife to cheat on her with some piece of garbage? And by garbage I mean the "help" or some mediocre stripper-hooker. First - the reason I refer only to celebrities is that they should KNOW that there are ninjas with cameras watching them 24/7. Second - this statement does not mean I respect those who cheat on their hot wives with other extremely hot women (although 100% A+ to Tom Brady, my god I want to be him).

But I digress, I am here to call out all the Hollywood, music, and sports garbarrassments. We will skip straight to the top of the list: Hugh Grant. This asshole, pictured below, is about as soft and borderline-gay as men come.

So Hugh meets a beautiful woman at a bar, picks her up, jump-starts her career, and marries her. Lets say she's the most beautiful woman in the world, and we'll give her a name, say...Elizabeth Hurley.

She is so hot, I watched the movie Bedazzled. From start to finish. Which, by the way, I highly recommend. Anyway, Hugh Grant can't just take his "Luckiest Guy in the Fucking World" award and live happily ever after, laughing at the rest of us from his mansion. Instead, this douchebag picks up some sub-mediocre prostitute for some oral, and gets caught by the police because hes pumping his foot up and down on the brakes in a parked car - like a bitch.

Hugh Grant, set an example and kill yourself.

This is Captain Garbarrassing reporting, over and out.

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Well, to be fair, Dvine Brown has some lips that could probably wrap themselves around your forearm. Is she amazingly gorgeous like Hugh's ex? I'd say no.

But you get what you pay for, and let's be honest, he probably wasn't paying a whole lot.
#7 - Dan - 08/31/2008 - 19:23
Hugh was paying her to swallow and leave. maybe Elizabeth won't suck a dick? And, what's up with that shit? lately I've been dating chicks that don't suck dick? in highschool I could get a blowjob on the way to dinner, in the movie and on the way home. now I can't even slap my dick across her face without getting a frown.. wtf.. lol
#6 - generic - 08/25/2008 - 03:10
You LIKED Bedazzled? Have you no taste? I turned up on your blog following your comment on the blog things white people like. If I were you I wouldn't try to market yourself as ANY of the things you said (entertaining, witty, etc.) I've not seen anything of that description here.
#5 - Sarah - 03/24/2008 - 10:21
Hugh Grant Needs BJs
indeed. But I would rather be in a room looking at elizabeth hurley than in a bmw getting blown by that piece of trash...
#4 - HughGrantNeeds BJs!!!! - 03/19/2008 - 22:48
This is some funny sh*t
okay, I bit and clicked on your blog. I'm happy I did. This is pretty damn funny. And yes, Michael Jackson is the King of Garbarrassing.

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#3 - - 03/19/2008 - 22:44
Dude- the hugh Grant thing has to be 7 or 8 years old! Yep, he screwed up, oh well. So did Tom Brady for that matter. His kid will grow up in a fragmented home and the quarterback will pay a LOT of child support. Does Tom know that his girlfriend is an unsmiling post-op trannie yet?
Sad thing is, he's my son's favorite football player and I could never break his heart by voicing such opinions about Mr.Brady in his presence.
#2 - whiteduranie - 03/19/2008 - 01:20
The reason is:
The reason Hugh Grant did what he did was because Elizabeth Hurley wasn't doing what he wanted her to do.
#1 - Mr Cheeseburger 9000 - 03/18/2008 - 14:51
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